New School Year

I'm already into my second month of my second year at Yu Ying and I feel like I never left. Some things have changed in my life out here, but for the most part, work life is practically the same. I will say this though, the new 7th graders are wayyyyy smarter than last years 7th graders..either that or I just know how to go about teaching them and manage the classroom in a smoother way..could be a bit of both. The 7th graders have more confidence, they're more polite, and they're generally excited to learn the content. It helps that the magazine we chose to use is 100 times better than last years. It's filled with dialogues and vocabulary that's actually useful in a person's life. The 8th graders are..well..8th graders (which means most of them are little brats and too cool for school) I have a new co-teacher, Rita, who I absolutely love. She actually put me in contact with this awesome tutoring session on Mondays that's after school and is super easy and pays really well. I've got a pretty busy schedule now..Monday-tutor after school, Tuesday-Chinese class, Wednesday- soccer, Thursday-Chinese, Friday-Tutor for Melody (pta mom) and drink wine with Zi after. Saturday morning-tutor for Kanako which I'd love to stop doing, it pays nothing and I don't live close to TLI anymore. Saturday night-out and about, Sunday- be hungover all day.

Last Years Yearbook!

As the foreign teacher, I was dragged along to lunches and dinners the first few weeks that I wasn't too happy about. The first dinner I attended was with my supervisor Mark, Principal Chen, and about 3 other junior high principals. The principals like to give out random school souvenirs and their business card..I'm still unclear of why they do this..I'm standing right next to my principal, and this other guy gives me his business card and tells me that I can contact him with that..and I'm thinking.."why would I ever need to contact you..you don't even speak english.." so I asked Mark if he's trying to recruit me for his school and Mark just says, "no he just wants to give you his business card.." I say, "Ya..but why? Why would I need another principal's business card..?" Mark: "Ha..I dun no." That dinner was strange, they ordered a plate of fried crickets and an ANT omelet, and thought it was hillarrrriousss to try and feed me it..but THEY wouldn't even eat it. Everyone would say, "Oh you don't want to try?!?" And I'm like.."well..will you try it?" "Oh nooo I won't eat that.." if you won't eat it and you make it in your own country, then what in your right mind makes you think I want to eat a fried bug? Things were getting real weird, real fast. I wanted to leave. The principal of course got hammered on red wine and Taiwan beer and yet again was trying to set me up with some random Taiwanese guy across the table.. I just wanted to teleport to Anyway's with my family where I could at least watch my dad get drunk on long islands and make funny comments ...and he at least tries to set me up with semi normal strangers.

Would've been good if it didn't have a frosting/mayo combo on it..

Now for the things I didn't eat...mini fried fish

..Ant omelet

...Jiminy fried cricket anyone?

poor guy

Now, the lunch I got swindled into going to, was miserableeee. It was after an awful work week and my schedule this year is very different than last years. Last year, I had 4 classes every day except for Thursdays when I had 5. This year, I have 5 classes on Mondays and Fridays. (Mondays and Fridays used to be my easy days where I'd roll outta bed with enough time to grab some starbucks.) By the time this particular Friday rolled around, I was exhausted and excited for my lunch break which happens to be a good hunk of time for lunch. I had grand ideas of going to Mode Mall for a bit of retail therapy and to eat some American food and even maybe take a nap on my desk afterwards..but my supervisor and principal had other lunch plans for me that I was unaware of and to top it off, they tricked me into going! Mark, Joe, and the "little girl" (new girl in office who you will hear plenty more gossip about later on) have been getting lunch together for days now and asked what I felt like eating..I figured "ya I'll grab lunch with them and do my own thing afterwards.." so we all went outside to wait for Mark to pull up his car to take us to lunch, and as we step inside of his car, Mark tells Joe and the little girl something in Chinese in which they proceed to exit the car and leave me in there..They say goodbye and I look at Mark who at this point looks like my personal driver because I'm in the back seat, and he says, "Oh the principal wants us to have lunch at the Japanese seafood restaurant.." I'm like.."wait but Mark..I'm starving.." and although he's well aware of my preferences when it comes to eating Asian cuisine considering we've eaten lunch together for a year now, he pretends like this is the best idea the principal could have for us: "Yaaa! Japanese seafood! Sounds good right?? Ok yea let's go!" (too late, we're already on our way.) My long awaited Friday-2-hour-lunch, was spent sitting around a table with 6 people I didnt know and who spoke Chinese the entire time. The principal kept offering me red wine and I said, "nope..I have an empty stomach and class after this.."(really thinking: nope that grape juice you consider wine, sucks and has like..no alcohol in it, so it's pointless to drink it and stain my teeth for the day.)  The food was the same old family style Japanese seafood. First the raw fish, then the salad with the sweet mayo dressing, then the fish ball soup, then the full on shrimp that you have to peel, then the full piece of bass cooking right in front of you, then the sushi rolls that have weird furry pork meat inside, then some other fish soup now that I'm sweaty and uncomfortable at this point..it's not what we would consider a light lunch date. I've eaten sushi for lunch before..but I assure you..this is not like the sushi we have at home. The courses are served every 10 minutes and not one person is speaking to me. I think I decided that at this point I was most likely pms-ing because I started choking back tears. Excused myself to sit in the bathroom for 10 minutes to get a grip and sat back out there and looked at Mark when it neared 1:55pm and said, "I need to go prep for class.." We left and Mark said nervously (because he knows damn well what I felt about that situation) "Soo what'd you think of the food.." and it wasn't a situation where you think of your answer a few hours later and you're like, "oh man I should've said this and this! that would've showed him!" I already let my response bottle up for a good hour prior to his question, so I was prepared and said, "I actually don't understand why the principal insists that I attend these things. No one talks to me, I feel awkward, it's rude, I don't enjoy the food, I don't like drinking red wine in the middle of the day..(well before class..well I don't like that wine)..and it's almost like he's showcasing his foreign teacher for his own benefit. I also don't like how you didn't tell me until we were on our way there, I thought we were all going to lunch somewhere else." He nervously giggled and said.."yaa..hehe..ok.." Needless to say, I haven't been invited to a lunch date since and that was about 6 weeks ago.

The "Little" Girl

So we have a 90210 situation happening at YuYing and it is quiteee the gossip. Not so very long ago, a younger Taiwanese girl started working in our office. She took the spot of this awesome older guy who took the spot of this awesome old lady who retired. Before summer vacation, the little girl started joining me, Mark, and Joe for lunch during the week (this was only a few occasions really) but during my first few weeks back, it was apparent that she's now officially apart of our lunch crew, which is fine really, so I was super polite and would try to communicate with her. She speaks NO English, again, which is fine, BUT she's one of those annoying Taiwanese females that makes this awful awful gasping noise when she doesn't understand something or when she's doing mindless tasks during the day and makes a mistake. The closest comparison I can make to this type of sound would have to be with Tim the Tool Man Taylor, aauughhHHHH?! So if I even THINK about saying something in English near this chick, she will make this noise as if I just scared the shit out of her with an SAT question or something, and will look to Mark and Joe for comfort/translation. First few lunches, it was annoying but I stuck it out and put up with her. Thennn I started to notice her annoying needy personality around the office, specifically near Coffee Joe's desk. She's always confused, always needs help, always needs reassurance, and goes straight to Joe (Joe isn't a supervisor..he's a science teacher with a few other jobs that don't involve her secretary work.) Let me also give you a brief visual of when I first met this girl. She was rather homely, hair always pulled back in a ponytail with a giant scrunchie, glasses, bummy clothes, gym shoes/sandals. Every once in a while she would come to my desk/Joe's desk and compliment an accessory of mine or a shirt, always telling Joe to tell me she liked something of mine. Obviously I'm not going to turn away a compliment so I would tell her where I bought something or try to engage her in a conversation about shopping. SO over a couple of weeks, the girl starts to make a physical transformation..she's wearing high heels, low cut shirts, her hair is down, and her glasses were long gone..strange, you think it'd be the opposite..start out a job looking your best and after you get the feel for it, be a little bit lazier, lose the make up, throw the hair up.. (well that's what I started doing at least) One day, Mark was  unable to come out for lunch so it was me, coffee Joe, and the little girl. It was the most awkward lunch for some reason..Joe who is usually super talkative didn't have much to say and if we attempted an English conversation, the girl would get too confused and Joe would end up having to translate the whole thing. When the 3 of us drove back, we approached the school and the girl said something to Joe in Chinese (she was sitting in the front seat) and he pulls up to the school and looks back at me and says, "Um ok..soo..I need to go do something..you can get out here.." and me being the not so nonchalant person I am, say, "Oh what do you need to do?" and he responds.."Um we're going to get some juice..do you want any?" ok. This entire office KNOWS how obsessed I am with the juice stand. I'm their number one customer and I walk in with bags of free fruit given to me from the owner about once a week..so the office loves when I go to GET juice. Why wouldn't he invite me? It's down the street! So I say, "well ya..duh, of course I'd like some! I'll have this, here's money." So I didn't think anything of this situation until the next day.
The next day, Joe and the girl couldn't get lunch with us, and me and Mark went to Mode Mall's food court for our lunch. This is where it gets juicy! Mark, who is a kind gentle soft spoken guy, casually says to me at lunch, "Soo..there's something that I probably shouldn't tell you.." and I'm like.."umm..ok.." and he chimes in right away, "but it's ok I think I'll tell you anyway!" Note to self: don't tell Mark any secrets..and apparently don't tell me any either because I'll write 'em in my blog.. Here's the convo:

Mark: so you know the little girl (still have no name for this chick) in the office?
Diana: you mean the girl who sits across from Joe? yes I know her..
Mark: yes well, people in the office are uncomfortable with her and Joe's relationship.
Diana: Well..has something happened between them?
Mark: We don't know for sure..but they spend a lot of time with eachother even outside of school. The principal has asked me to have a talk with Joe and tell him he needs to stop spending time with her
Diana: So when will you tell him?
Mark: Well I already have said something to him before, and the principal also called Joe in his office to tell him, but they still spend time together. They get breakfast together every morning and play badminton after school together. One time this summer, they went out for lunch and didn't get back to the school until 2 when they should've been back by 1:30..I think I need to say something to him again..

I explained to Mark that it's not just Joe's fault, I think the girl is responsible as well but for some reason, Mark won't say anything to the girl, no one will say anything to the girl. it's this cultural thing where no one confronts anyone, and the only reason Mark is able to say something to Joe is NOT because he's the supervisor, it's because they're close friends..that's when I started to be kind of a bitch to the girl. Passive aggressive is the name of the game in this country..(if you can't beat em, join em, right?) I also thought back to the previous day when they tried sneaking off down the street for "juice" and I probably totally c-blocked them without even realizing it. Alright, the scenarios kept surfacing as the weeks went on, and I tried ignoring them, but I couldn't I was hooked on Yu Ying 90210..and frankly, it was affecting me too because it was making my work life awkward.

Scenario 1- For an entire car ride to lunch, the little girl is sitting behind Joe on the passenger side of the car and literally has her face up to his face..like scoot herself all the up her seat so she could practically be sitting upfront with him. Her hands are on his headrest, almost touching his shoulders..could you BE anymore obvious? Me and little girl exit Mark's car for lunch in the middle of a busy street..I get out on one side of the car thinking she'll obviously get out of the other side..buttt I will admit I start to see her scootin her way out my end of the car, but it's too late, I was already full on shutting the door on her face. Oops. She gets all embarassed and was nervously giggling and saying something in another language as I was shutting the door, and when she gets out of the car she says something to Joe like and he says, "Oh..she says that she was trying to tell you not to shut the door..but she said it in Japanese.." wtf? I look at the girl and say, "well why the heck would I know Japanese? you could've said it in Chinese." and walk away. Joe translates. Boom.

Scenario 2- She sits in between me and Joe at the teppenaki place (it's almost like you're seated at a bar, so no one's facing each other. After a good 30 min of no one really talking, probably because Mark feels awkward and frankly, so do I, I decide to ask Joe a question about his baby, little Sophia, who usually he talks about everyday. I asked if she's been saying any more words, and the damn girl sitting in between us makes her Tool Man Taylor sound, AgHuhhhhh???? anndddd I didn't mean to, but without much reaction time, I mocked her and go, "Aghuuhhhhh??!!!! Ha, why do you always do that?" And even though she doesn't understand English, I think she understood that, and she shut up..then I felt bad and offered her the rest of my bean sprouts.

Scenario 3- I start to take pictures with my iPhone because the office has become secret couple powwow hour for these two and I'm the only damn person left in here to deal with it. Secret agent D is on the case!

Ok so Mark and Wenli then became aware of how uncomfortable I felt being left in the office with the two of them. Mark started tutoring during a few of his lunch hours during the week so it was consistently leaving me and Joe and the girl to get lunch together so I started making excuses every day that week. "Oh I have work to do so I'm going to go by myself..ohh I want to eat subway again so..I'm going to go do that..by myself..(ya I'm not good at these excuses)" But gradually things died down between the two of them. I don't know if what I said to Wenli had anything to do with it, but the girl and Joe would leave separately for lunch (hey maybe it was just a ploy to meet up secretly, I dunno.)

Here's the good news: THIS WEEK IS HER LAST WEEK!!! Noooo I didn't get her fired....apparently, she was just a temporary worker before the new person got here. So the girl hasn't been into the office much lately. Mark even said to me last week, "I wonder how Joe will be when the girl leaves..I wonder if he'll be sad.." So awkward. The little girl was in here on Monday/Tuesday training the NEW girl (who no offense..most likely won't be having an affair with anyone..which is good, she passed some difficult test that immediately lands her the job apparently, so I know she's super smart and a great worker, but I'm sure Joe is disappointed) There's also this other new girl who's younger is in the office and sitting in the desk next to me. I said hi to her yesterday and she was real cold to me and was like.."Hi." And I said, "I'm Diana." she says, "I'm Nancy." turns out she's friends with the homewrecker, so they probably equally hate me. Then homewrecker is sitting next to my desk yesterday, like squatting, so she's equidistant between Me, new Nancy, and coffee Joe, and New Nancy and homewrecker interrupt me when my head phones in and she says, "Diana, she wants to show you something.." and homewrecker shows me this worn out fake tattoo on her ankle..what does someone say to that?? I was like.."oh..cool..it's fake right." And then they noticed my tattoo on my foot and homewrecker started freaking out making her stupid gasping noises, I just wanted to kick her in the face. I should've pretended to have a foot spasm and knock her over or something. Today, Thursday I think is her last last day. She's still "training" the new person. I'm pretty sure homewrecker barely did an actual lick of work during her time here though so I'm not sure what she's going to teach a person who passed a legitimate test in order to receive the position. As I'm typing this, shes squatting behind me next to coffee Joe. She reminds me of a little lap puppy or something. Alright enough homewrecker bashing for the year! SHE GONE!

I just found out extremely exciting news that my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Ms. Ashley Stubbs, is contemplating a trip to Taiwan! She just got the vacation time approved today!!! I'm crossing my fingers for the last week in November to be a week filled with gallivanting around the town, puma prowling, and enough awkward moments to fill up an entire blog post.