The Refuge and the week of "Sports Day"

December  10^th-11^th

My Friday night was completely uneventful. I rented the movie Kinsey and went to bed and I woke up Saturday thinking..tonight better not be another iTunes movie night...but I knew Shija had plans for the day to go to Sun Moon Lake with her co-teacher even though the weather was cold and gloomy, so without her, this left me with very few options. This girl, Yin, who was the waitress at Deluxe Brewhouse, contacted me on Facebook and then invited me to this event during the day called “Art for Animals.” I’m always apprehensive to hang out with some random new person who has semi-good English, but then awkwardly stand around with their friends who speak no English, so I told Yin that me and my friend might go, but finding out that Shija had plans that day I was like..oh great guess I have to go there alone! Before  I decided on anything with Yin that day, I went to Mode Mall and sat at the Starbucks and read my book on my tablet.

 Since I’ve been here I’ve read “Water for Elephants,” “Heaven is For Real,” and now I’m onto “Me Speak Pretty One Day.” Two and a half books may not seem a lot for a 4-5 month period of time..but if you knew me as a child..or even knew my attention span at all, this is pretty incredible.  I got by getting A’s on book reports from reading the back cover and creating a cool diorama or just bs-ing my way through every assignment by skimming the assigned chapters (I actually didn’t use Spark Notes) and then in college I tried getting into all of the reading fads but ended up only reading half of the first Harry Potter, half of Twilight, and half of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo…I like them but I just put them down to take a break and never went back..well except for the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I tried real hard to get into that and I was even told, “it gets really good after the first 100 pages” (which is quite the commitment) and I was up to page 150 and was like..welp I’m lost and bored, and ended up watching the movie a week later (which was good!)

 Anyway, Mode Mall was nice and they had just set up this huge tree and it seemed as if every citizen within a mile radius was there to take pictures with the tree. It’s very strange how people here are obsessed with taking pictures of themselves. This group of middle school kids literally took pictures of each other from the minute I got to Starbucks until an hour later when I left the Starbucks. Then this one couple came and I’m thinking..ok, they’ll ask someone to take a picture for them..but no this guy just took pictures of his non-model girlfriend for 30 minutes straight and she would do the same pose and after every shot she’d walk up to him and see what the picture looked like and then went back to her position to take a billion more…like..what are you possibly going to do with 75 pictures of yourself in front of a tree…I KNOW they don’t send xmas cards out here either. Taiwanese girls also like to take Myspace like photos of themselves, but they do this in the most mundane situations..for example, when I was eating at Subway the other night, this girl and her boyfriend were sitting around after their meal and he was on the cell phone with someone and throughout his conversation, his girlfriend just kept taking these self photos ..but after she would look at each picture she would re-take the picture but would re-position her arm in the air to make it look like someone was standing on the table and taking the picture for her, and then she’d make this awkward pouty face and take another one. She must’ve taken 20 self photos while I was eating my 6 inch sub… And yes this is why I can’t get through a book in a decent amount of time because ridiculous things like this surround me.

I  bought some xmas gifts for my family at mode mall and then threw in a few things for myself as well. I also took out a bunch of money to give to my landlord who still hasn’t collected ANY money since I’ve been here. And then when he finally decided to respond to my calls and emails, I owed a bajillion NTD at one time which is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. 

It was a very chilly day but I tried to dress in cute warm clothes because I decided I would go to Art for Animals with Yin. The event was 99% foreigners and it was set up outside of this rundown community center. There was a small stage for bands around the back and then food stands in the front. In the inside was tables and stations for artists to sell their work. I bought a handmade purse for Kristen and walked around and looked at some of the other stuff. Although I was with Yin, I was real excited to see Caroline, Venda, and Wendy working one of the food stations with their boyfriends. Everyone was drinking because every stand was selling liquor. I had some hot chocolate with frangelico which was so good, and then I just had a gin and tonic. Yin brought this cute little kitten that was so mellow. There were dogs there as well and they would stick their noses right up to the cat and it wouldn't even flinch. Yin and her friend decided to leave but I stuck around with Caroline and them.

Even though they were working a stand they were able to talk and hang out. I met more and more foreigners and got to eat some amazing mini bbq pork sandwiches cooked by Caroline's boyfriend and just mingle with people. I had a few more beers with the new people I met and with the day of drinking, I didn't foresee a night at the infamous "Refuge" following shortly after.The Refuge is the only open bar in Taichung and I think the reason it stays open is because it's in the damn mountains 30 minutes outside of the city..what cops would want to drive that far to bust a party? (Well.. I'm sure our Carol Stream cops would love to take a 30 minute trip outside of town to bust as many drunk people as they want, but Taiwanese police don't seem as ambitious when it comes to enforcing the laws.) I was going to call it a night and back out of the trip to the Refuge, but I decided that another weekend night spent watching iTunes movies wasn't as appealing as an abandoned amusement park that doubled as an all night bar. I followed a few people on my scooter out into the mountains, and the 30 minute ride seemed like it was about an hour because of the bitter cold wind that was whipping against my body. You really feel like you're driving into some dark abyss in the mountains and the whole time you think..where in the world could they possibly place a bar? But sure enough, there's this old run down sign, for literally, an amusement park, and you entered and there was this bar. I felt like I was in an episode of Scooby Doo...scary old amusement park where a bunch of hippies hang out....


The club was ridiculous..I won't go into much detail about the illegal substances floating around..but my thought was "Wow, they shut down a bar that specialized in playing Darts ....but they kept this one open??" There was a DJ spinning club music and from what I can remember it was about 75% foreigners and 15% Taiwanese. I sat up at the bar and had some Coronas. Don't get me wrong, I like some upbeat techno music every once in a while, but I wasn't in the mood to dance with strangers..it's a lot easier to make a fool of yourself and dance with strangers when you have friends around doing the same thing. I didn't have friends there..I barely would even call these people acquaintances..but they were very friendly people and included me in their adventure to this place. When you would go to the outside of the bar to go use the bathrooms, there was a person grilling food and selling it (well not directly next to the bathrooms but the end of the line for the bathrooms was right next to the food stand.) Burgers, hotdogs, and baked potatoes. I had a cheeseburger and it was so good. Then, my sorta kinda fun night was coming to an end when a guy who was a replica of a person from Harlem Ave in Chicago, decides to hit on me not once, but twice that night. He said "damn girl, you'se thick, I like that.." I was going to give a smart ass response because I can't stand when guys call girls "thick"..but at the time I was shoving a cheeseburger in my face so..he was probably spot on with that phrase.. He looked like Ice-T. I was so curious as to what the heck he was doing in Taiwan and his response was "It's easy work and good money." Yep there's an English teacher folks..teaching Taiwanese children slang like You'se and finna..I only took two pictures from that night but I probably should've taken about 100 to really give you the full Refuge vibe...I ended up getting a ride home and left my scooter overnight. I wasn't necessarily that drunk, but riding a scooter down a pitch black mountain doesn't seem safe no matter what state of mind you're in..

There's the winner..guns on his shirt and all..

Here's a video to get you into the Christmas spirit!

Prepping for Sports Day

All the other foreigner teacher's have had their "Sport's Day" at their elementary schools these past few Saturdays (and they get that Monday off!) but ours was set to take place during the school day on Friday...so no school day off for me..so Sport's Day is a tradition across Taiwan for schools to put together this big event where all the teachers and parents participate in silly relay races, all the students practice for months prior to perform a giant group dance and run a relay race, government people make an appearance, get introduced, and wave "hi," anddd the awards ceremonies last longer than the actual 'sports" performed. .

I couldn't get off easy with just being a teacher to attend Sports day..oh no no..I was assigned to be the high and mighty Sports Day commentator. I had a Chinese script to translate and follow with Wenli, and it was my job to act as an ESPN announcer that Friday. Wenli gives me the Chinese script on Monday and explains that she will say these narration phrases in Chinese, and I need to "come up with the corresponding English phrase that Sports Announcer's in America would use.." Example 1: Wenli says "ok so this first line says something like, "now we will have our flag ceremony"..yes..mmm hmm..sooo..how would you say this..?" Me: "Umm..I guess..Now we will have our flag ceremony..?" Wenli: "hmmm mm hm mm hm..yes but..say it like the person on TV would say it (changes her voice to give me an example and switches it to this high pitch slow voice, "NowwW timmEE for our FlaaaG CeremonYY.." I couldn't help but laugh and say "Wenli..have you ever watched any sports on T.V.?" (Because I assure you they do not sound like a Disney princess..) So we go through a few more narration phrases and we get to introducing all the classes..there's 30. 10 7th 10 8th and 10 9th grade..and I say "please Welcome classss two--ohhh--onnneee" and she says "ok but maybe say something like.."201..they're so strong.." Ok "Welcome the strong students of 2-0-1" and Wenli loved that and said, yes do this with all the classes..but I'm not about to introduce all these classes as "strong students of--" so I used an online thesaurus and came up with a list of words that I switched up for every class. Bold, fierce, brave, mighty, strong, incredible, amazing, courageous, daring, tough, powerful. And there was my script.

Decorated for Sports Day

Mark and Wenli then started to tell me about the teacher dinner that is happening right after Sports Day on Friday night. It's at a Japanese seafood restaurant..big surprise there!! So instantly I knew that I'd need to pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so I won't starve, that wasn't the problem..the things I had an issue with were how they TOLD me that I was attending this dinner on Friday night. Wenli goes.."yea so..mm your Chinese class..yea..you'll have to miss it.." and then her and Mark are telling me that I'm going to get on stage and SING with them in front of the teachers and I say, "No I'm not singing. Sorry." and Mark is like, "well it's tradition for teachers to do this and there will be prizes if you sing!" and I'm like.."unless the prize is a t.v. or something..I'm not singing." If it was a big group of teachers singing Jingle Bells on stage, then fine, whatever, sign me up, but no no..it was just me, Mark, and Wenli. Then Wenli already thinks up an English song for us to sing and says, "yes my students introduced me to a song that I really like and it's called, 'You Raise Me Up.." That's when I shut down the entire idea and said, sorry guys, not going to happen. These are the same people that tell me that something is wrong with my voice everyday, why the hell would I ever get on stage and sing a Josh Grobin song..


That Tuesday night, I had my first Taiwanese illness and it was a stomach issue. Sharp pains and other sorts of issues that lasted all Tuesday night and Wednesday morning at school, won't go into too much detail but Wenli and Mark were concerned for me and decided that I'd go to the doctor with Wenli after school. The doctor was recommended by the teacher who sits across from me, Yao Shin. She also recommend the place for my first hair cut..enough said. This doctor office would not have been approved by any health department, I'm almost positive of that. The doctor himself was the secretary, the nurse, and the pharmacist. He was running this place that was the size of a narrow family room. It looked like a DMV. The doctor was very nice and "professional" and washed his hands and asked Wenli about my issues. He asked her about my voice and said I sound hoarse..go figure..and she told him my problems. So maybe 5-10 minutes after the examination, the doctor hands me a baggy and puts 5 different kinds of pills in it. The dosage was wrapped in individual little packages. So 5 different pills in each package, and you unwrap and take all of those, 3 times a day. This is 15 pills in one day...naturally I ask Wenli.."well what do these pills do?" and she goes, "Oh no, we won't ask the doctor this, we just take what he gives us. Do you ask the doctor this question.." and I'm sure my jaw was dropped and I didn't even know where to begin with an answer to that..I gave some half ass response about pharmacists and prescription bottles and side effects and allergies and lawsuits and then went home to take my mystery meds.

On Thursday, everyone was concerned with how I was feeling but I think it was just so they could confirm that I'd be ok to be the sports announcer all day and run a relay race with teachers..did I mention that I'm running a relay race? They took about 14 teachers out of the entire school..and I was one of them..I know it was just for entertainment value. Let's see how the foreigner can run type of thing..Anyway, my stomach seemed fine until I went to lunch with Wenli, Mark, and Joe. We ate at a really good dumpling, noodle, and tonyopi (fried onion pancake) place, but right after I ate, my stomach was hurting again! I took it easy that night and there was no mention of "hey if you're not feeling well, you don't have to run tomorrow.." so I had to suck it up.

December 16th- Let the games begin...

Sport's day to me seemed like an event that is a cross between a few things: a  field day, a pep rally, and a festival for parents, faculty, superintendents, political candidates..and..oh yea the students..but the twist is..it has the competitive drive of a state track meet and the seriousness of an ACT exam..After surveying my classes that week, asking "Are you excited for Friday!!??" I realized that a majority of my students do not enjoy this day because it's another reason for them to work extra hard outside of class and to practice and prepare a month ahead of time as if it's their midterm exam..The morning events were for the teachers and the parents really..they competed in a tire rolling race, ball balancing race, and a 3 legged race and the beatle nut chewing dads with their red mouths got all pissy because they said the results of the winners were wrong and they were supposed to have 1st in the tire rolling contest and that the teachers cheated because they picked up the tire and then the teachers are like ok whatever...take 1st place..and then the students are like..why are we here if we don't compete until after lunch and I'm like..do I seriously need to run a 100 meter race..

Don't they look so happy..

All the students sitting and watching the awards

Um..what? get this man off school grounds..

Wenli had to leave Sports Day after our morning announcing to go to the hospital for her dad who had fallen earlier that day. Mark took over her position and we just needed to cheer on the runners and say, "Go GO GO!" He kept track of the places of each event which was impressive. The teacher relay race was at the end of the events so all the students were able to watch..great, I was hoping to have an audience of 500 kids. I was number 13 out of 14 runners so some pressure..but #14 has the most pressure I think. Out of the 14 teacher, 2 had tripped and fell during the race! One older guy teacher who was actually incredibly fast, and then the boy who ran before me passing off the stick, so I was nervous that I'd be next to trip, but I didn't I just ran as fast as I could and our team got 4th out of 5th. The principal and teachers and students kept saying, "you run so fast!" and I disregarded this statement because..I know how I run..I've been on plenty of soccer teams to know that I'm not a fast runner.  

And I'm off!

The sports day dinner was crazy. Only 1 bottle of wine for our table and our table finished it in a matter of minutes. The principal saw that I had no wine in my drink and when the time came to go around and cheers with the tables he asks me, "where's your drink?" and I said.."Mayo..mayo joe." Which means I don't have..I don't have liquor. He loved this and send over a bottle of wine haha. There were some activities for the teachers on stage and one I thought was kind of inappropriate for a school dinner, but they had to pass these rubber bands on these short straws, only using their mouths..and it was boy girl boy girl. I was like..what kind of dinner is this!! Then coffee Joe competed in a diaper changing contest because him and this other guy are both new dads, so there was a baby doll and a diaper. It was funny. Joe lost just by a little. They passed out a bunch of prizes and it was over about 3 hours later. And after the dinner, I got back at 9pm and headed over to TGI Fridays to eat an appetizer to soak up that wine..like I figured, I didn't eat much.

Joe and diaper contest

Divas and Crooners Night- December 17th

Shija and I spent the day shopping and eating over at Early Bird. The lunch wasn't too great..we both decided that breakfast is the best thing there. We ran into Doug, the Chicago guy who dates the Taiwanese girl, Wendy, and his friend, the crazy drunk guy, Ben, from Minnesota. This is the 2nd time we've seen them at Early Bird. The last time, was a Sunday afternoon and they were both very drunk off of screwdrivers and Ben was passed out cold in a chair. This time, they weren't passed out yet, but they were drunk off screwdrivers and asked if we were going to this Divas and Crooners night held in some secret location and you had to buy tickets for it. Originally I was going to go when Caroline asked me that week but since I got kind of sick, I cancelled and thought all the tickets were sold out. Doug and Ben said that they could get us tickets if we were still interested, so Shija and I decided to go. It was interesting. Just people getting on stage to sing Christmas songs and the audience was just there to get drunk..so it was an interesting night. Caroline, Venda, Wendy, and Sophia (who I went to refuge with) were all there. I got Wendy to say some funny English phrases and I met some interesting people. I'm glad that we decided to go because it was a chance to actually dress up and go out..something to look forward to! But the next couple of weekends will be busy!

Venda was cut off after this point..

Me, Caroline, ?, Shija, Wendy